5 Damaging Things Parents Say Without Realizing ItDecember 2, 2022
It’s stressful being a parent and, although you always want to do the best for your child, the truth is you make mistakes. Life is stressful, your children can be exhausting especially when you’re tired and they need to be asked repeatedly to do one thing.
It’s not surprising that you inadvertently say and do things which are emotionally damaging to your child. In some cases it’s tiredness and frustration, in others, you are repeating things your parents have told you, without realizing the damage the words can cause.
To help avoid saying damaging things you need to lower your stress levels and give your child their own experiences. It can help to enrol them in this centre for early learning Chatswood, it gives you both time apart which is important for any relationship. You also need to be aware of the most commonly said things that are damaging to your child. It can help you to avoid saying these things.
1.It’s not a big deal
It’s easy to say this as, to you, it really isn’t a big deal. But, to your child, the matter can feel huge. They are not looking at the bigger picture or using past experience to acknowledge in the grand scheme of things it isn’t a big deal.
Your child is facing their own crisis and you need to acknowledge this. Telling them it’s not a big deal is the same as telling them their feelings aren’t important. Instead, acknowledge their feelings and frustration and help them figure out what to do next.
2.That makes me sad
Parents often use this phrase in an attempt to correct poor behaviour, without having to set clear boundaries. It’s a type of emotional blackmail and usually works well on young children. However, as they mature they will realize that being able to make you sad gives them control over your emotions and they will ‘push your buttons’ more in the future.
This can also teach them it’s okay to emotionally manipulate others to get what you want.
3.You should know better
This is a classic phrase that parents use when their child does something naughty. By using this message you’re effectively telling your child they are too stupid to make good decisions. Not only does this place them on the defensive, but it also reduces their confidence. That can lead to an array of issues later in life.
4.I’ll sort it out
This, or similar phrases, are generally used when you’re out of time and your child hasn’t completed whatever task they have to hand. By swooping in you are telling your child they are incapable. You may also be preventing them from learning whatever skill it is.
Instead, you need to focus on giving them time and helping them resolve any issues, effectively teaching them they can solve any problem.
5.Labelling your child
It’s easy to tell your child they are smart or they are stupid. But, creating a label for them makes it harder for you to see when they need help and may confuse them when they don’t perform as expected.
It’s best to avoid labelling your child and simply be proud of what they have achieved, whatever that is.