Is your online life damaging your love life?
In an era where your phone is the first and last thing you see every day, it’s not surprising how social media can impact your relationships, both offline and online. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to show your relationship status online. Besides, isn’t it sweet to have your spouse making you feel secure and loved by posting your pictures together? However, you should ask yourself why you’re doing so.
It’s safe to say that social media is like cannabis – it’s not toxic unless you use it excessively, incorrectly, and for the wrong purpose. Here are 8 red flags social media is damaging your romantic relationship.
You’re oversharing relationship details
Oversharing, especially if it involves private information only you and your partner should know, is one of the toxic habits that break trust in relationships. Not every romantic gesture needs to be announced. Not every photo needs to be uploaded. Not every moment has to be posted on your “IG story” or “My Day.”
Social media isn’t a diary – you shouldn’t be sharing something private with the world. Discuss with your partner the things that constitute as TMI or “too much information” and the ones that are okay to share publicly.
You’re always airing your dirty laundry
Having a meltdown, spilling every detail of your argument online, is one solid example. Regardless of who’s right or wrong, quarrels shouldn’t be left out in the open for the public to feast on. It’s hurtful and disrespectful.
Same goes with sharing every “steamy” moment that has happened throughout the day, knowing your reserved partner is going to be uncomfortable with it.
You’re expecting your spouse to be on the same page
Want to show the world how great your partner is by posting photos of him with sweet captions? No problem – you do you. But expecting your spouse to do the same is a different story. What takes place offline is more significant than the ones shared online.
You care more about the likes than your SO
For instance, you’re celebrating your 2nd anniversary in a fancy restaurant. It’s okay to snap a photo or two of you and your spouse. But taking too much time finding the perfect angle to capture your IG-worthy meals, location, and OOTD can kill such a meaningful occasion. And for what?
You know you need to go through digital detox if you care so much about the likes, hearts, and wow reactions you get on your posts than your partner himself.
When social media becomes a prime ground for cheating
Stalking your exes, including your partner’s past relationships, is now easier than before, thanks to social media. It can also be prime ground for flirting with other people. Such opportunities can lead to huge arguments that could damage your beautiful relationship.
Your time on social media is disconnecting you from your partner
It’s ironic how something designed to connect people can actually cause people to disconnect. When your eyes are always glued onto your phone, you tend to disengage with your spouse. You don’t talk or bond over the things you both love – and this instantly extinguishes the spark in your relationship or marriage.
You’re mistaking social media for real human contact
Do you think posting throwback photos of him with a long message for his birthday is enough? Go out of your way to see him. You need to disconnect from the virtual reality and try to have more face to face interactions with the people you love.
Just because you always talk through chat or text doesn’t mean you’re truly interacting. It’s not the same as talking in person while maintaining eye contact and having a human touch or even talking over the phone, where you read someone’s emotions through their voice.
You’re comparing yourself (and your relationship) to someone else’s
Everyone brags about their engagement on social media. Your Facebook friends would love to flaunt their trip to the Maldives for their anniversary and how their spouse proposed during sundown.
You, who are just scrolling through your “friend’s” highlight reel, feel miserable for not being engaged and having a cheapskate spouse who couldn’t afford such luxurious trips. Comparing yourself to other people is becoming the new normal – it shouldn’t be. It’s toxic. The next thing you know is you’re competing with your friends, proving you have a better partner than anyone else, to feel good about yourself.
Relying on external validation to prove yourself that your spouse and your relationship are good enough can be a slippery slope. If you feel unsatisfied with your relationship, find the answer within. Talk through things, privately.
Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for Relationship Room Couples Counseling, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families. She may be hopeless romantic but she’s got some straightforward pieces of advice about love, dating, and relationships.